“Just one more minute!”
The phone matters more than talking
At the table, in bed, on the way to school — and every attempt to take it away ends in a blowup.
“You Just Don’t Get It!” Tween Defiance and the Start of Puberty
Essentials Edition
$27.00
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“You Just Don’t Get It!” Tween Defiance and the Start of Puberty
$27.00
Ready-to-use phrases for sarcasm, screens, homework, and “Everyone else has one!” For parents of kids ages 8–12.
- Conversation scripts for phones, games, homework, and grades
- Agreements instead of bans
- A 4-Week Plan and a cheat sheet for the fridge
Instant PDF download — right in your order confirmation email. Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help.
Ready-to-use phrases
Scripts for real-life situations
Instant PDF by email
Download link right after checkout
Read it on your phone
No waiting for shipping
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The problem
Sound familiar?
Tween defiance is real, even if hardly anyone talks about it. It’s the doorway to puberty — and the best moment to build conversation habits that will carry you through the teen years.
“You just don’t get it!”
Homework that ends in tears
You want to help, but it turns into a fight and a slammed notebook.
The solution
Agreements instead of bans
A 10-year-old wants a say. When they get it in the small things, they fight less over the big ones. The e-book shows you how to set rules together — and how to stick to them without a war.
- How to talk about phones and games without a blowup
- What to say when you hear “Everyone else has one!”
- Scripts for bad grades, homework, and shutting themselves in their room
- Conversation habits that will pay off in the teen years
What the phrases in the e-book sound like
Instead of yelling — the right words
Each script shows the situation, the phrases that usually escalate the conflict, and the phrases that actually help.
“Everyone else has a phone!”
Instead of
“I don’t care what everyone else has.”
Say
“I get that you feel different from everyone else. That can be really hard.”
A messy desk
Instead of
“You’re such a slob.”
Say
“There are plates from yesterday on your desk.”
Forgot to walk the dog — again
Instead of
“How many times do I have to remind you?!”
Say
“The dog!”
The phrases in the “Say” column come straight from the e-book.
The 3-Step Method
Three steps instead of yelling
The same framework works for a 2-year-old and a teenager — only the words change. In the e-books, they’re ready for you.
1
Pause
Your calm comes first. You stop, breathe, and move closer — instead of calling out from the other room.
2
Connect
You name what you see and what your child is feeling. A child in big emotions needs connection first, and only then the message.
3
Cooperate
You briefly say what happens next: a limit, a choice, or a solution you find together. No lectures, no threats.
Video
The 3-Step Method in 40 seconds
See what a conversation looks like using the three steps.
Editions
Choose your edition
Both editions are PDF files you get instantly after checkout.
Essentials Edition
$27.00
- The 3-Step Method and seven conversation tools
- A chapter on tween defiance
- 18 scripts: phones and games, homework, bad grades, “Everyone else gets to, except me!”, shutting themselves in their room
- When to seek help: warning signs and where to get support in the US
- 4-Week Plan, worksheets, and a cheat sheet
Most complete edition
Complete Edition
$37.00
- Everything in the Essentials Edition
- Deep-dive chapter: “The Bridge Between Childhood and Puberty: Ages 8–12”
- Deep-dive chapter: “Agreements Instead of Bans”
- 11 extra scripts for everyday situations
- Harder Family Situations: separation and divorce, siblings, grandparents, your own outbursts
- 8 worksheets, including “Our Agreement” and “My Repair Plan”
Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help.
FAQ
Is there anything about a first phone?
Yes. The e-book includes conversation scripts about phones and games, and about setting shared rules for using them.
How do I get my e-book?
As soon as your order is paid, you’ll find a “Download e-book (PDF)” button in your confirmation email. Save the file to your phone, tablet, or computer.
What’s the difference between the Essentials Edition and the Complete Edition?
The Complete Edition includes everything in the Essentials Edition, plus extra chapters, more conversation scripts, and more worksheets. You’ll find the full contents of both editions above.
Will this work for my child?
Every child is different, and no guide can promise results. The e-book gives you ready-to-use phrases and a way of responding that you can adapt to your situation. It works best with consistent practice — that’s why there’s a 4-Week Plan inside.
Is this psychological advice?
No. Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help. Inside, you’ll find a chapter on when it’s worth reaching out for support, plus where to get help in the US.
I have kids of different ages. Which e-book should I choose?
Choose “How to Talk to Your Child Through the Defiant Years” — it covers every stage from 1.5 to 17 years old.
Can I read it on my phone?
Yes. It’s a PDF you can open on any phone, tablet, or computer.
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