“Because I Want To!” Defiance in Preschoolers and Early Schoolers

$27.00

Ready-to-use phrases for “I don’t have to!”, back talk, lying, and morning battles. For parents of kids ages 4–7.

Conversation scripts for preschool, school, and home
The “try that again” technique for back talk
A 4-Week Plan and a cheat sheet for the fridge

Instant PDF download — right in your order confirmation email. Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help.

Ready-to-use phrases

Scripts for real-life situations

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The problem

Sound familiar?

Not a toddler anymore, not quite a schoolkid — or a brand-new one. Your child is testing where the edges of the world are and whether the rules really hold.

“I don’t want to, and that’s that!”

A battle at every meal

Every request ends in negotiating or yelling — on both sides of the table.

“That’s not fair!”

Sibling fights

You play referee all day long, and everyone still feels wronged.

The solution

Calmer afternoons are possible

Five- and seven-year-olds love to test how much power their words have. Instead of getting pulled into a tug-of-war, you’ll have ready-made responses that hold the line without shaming your child.

How to talk so they listen — without shouting from the kitchen
What to say to back talk and “I hate you!”
Scripts for lying, getting dressed, and sibling fights
A buffer zone after preschool and school

Choose your edition

What the phrases in the e-book sound like

Instead of yelling — the right words

Each script shows the situation, the phrases that usually escalate the conflict, and the phrases that actually help.

Your 5-year-old says “You’re stupid”

Instead of

“How dare you talk to me like that?!”

Say

“Hey. We don’t talk to each other like that. Try that again, with different words.”

Not listening and laughing

Instead of

“How many times do I have to tell you?!”

Say

“Shoes now. I need you to hear me.”

Playtime ends before bed

Instead of

“Clean up right now!”

Say

“Five more minutes and we’re done. Want to set the timer? Your build can stay up until morning.”

The phrases in the “Say” column come straight from the e-book.

The 3-Step Method

Three steps instead of yelling

The same framework works for a 2-year-old and a teenager — only the words change. In the e-books, they’re ready for you.

1

Pause

Your calm comes first. You stop, breathe, and move closer — instead of calling out from the other room.

2

Connect

You name what you see and what your child is feeling. A child in big emotions needs connection first, and only then the message.

3

Cooperate

You briefly say what happens next: a limit, a choice, or a solution you find together. No lectures, no threats.

Video

The 3-Step Method in 40 seconds

See what a conversation looks like using the three steps.

Editions

Choose your edition

Both editions are PDF files you get instantly after checkout.

Essentials Edition

103 pages · 11 scripts · 100+ ready-to-use phrases

$27.00

The 3-Step Method and seven conversation tools
A chapter on defiance in preschoolers and early schoolers
11 scripts: back talk, lying, “I hate you!”, getting dressed in the morning, sibling fights
When to seek help: warning signs and where to get support in the US
4-Week Plan, worksheets, and a cheat sheet

Most complete edition

Complete Edition

168 pages · 22 scripts · 250+ ready-to-use phrases

$37.00

Everything in the Essentials Edition
Deep-dive chapter: “The World of 4- to 7-Year-Olds: Fairness, Shame, and Big Ambitions”
Deep-dive chapter: “Rules a Preschooler Understands”
11 extra scripts for everyday situations
Harder Family Situations: separation and divorce, siblings, grandparents, your own outbursts
8 worksheets, including “Our House Rules” and “My Repair Plan”

Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help.

FAQ

Is the “seven-year-old crisis” different from preschool defiance?

It’s the same developmental stage in a new form — now with school, grades, and comparing themselves to others. The e-book covers both: ages 4 to 7.

How do I get my e-book?

As soon as your order is paid, you’ll find a “Download e-book (PDF)” button in your confirmation email. Save the file to your phone, tablet, or computer.

What’s the difference between the Essentials Edition and the Complete Edition?

The Complete Edition includes everything in the Essentials Edition, plus extra chapters, more conversation scripts, and more worksheets. You’ll find the full contents of both editions above.

Will this work for my child?

Every child is different, and no guide can promise results. The e-book gives you ready-to-use phrases and a way of responding that you can adapt to your situation. It works best with consistent practice — that’s why there’s a 4-Week Plan inside.

Is this psychological advice?

No. Our guides are educational and are not a substitute for professional help. Inside, you’ll find a chapter on when it’s worth reaching out for support, plus where to get help in the US.

I have kids of different ages. Which e-book should I choose?

Choose “How to Talk to Your Child Through the Defiant Years” — it covers every stage from 1.5 to 17 years old.

Can I read it on my phone?

Yes. It’s a PDF you can open on any phone, tablet, or computer.